Assalamualaikum.
Alhamdullilah syukur atas kurniaan dan nikmat yang Allah berikan selama aku hidup ni.
So anak sulungku, Habib Umar dh berusia 2 tahun lebih, which mean it is a perfect time to add a new member in our small family. We are planning for a second baby inshaAllah. So we tried for many months but the result came out negative. Sedih memang sedih. Rasa macam susah pulak nak lekat utk yang kedua ni. Tapi tu semua kerja Allah kan? Allah tahu masa mana sesuai utk 2nd baby to come. Kami tak putus asa dan terus usaha 😆😆😆😆😆.
On 23/8/2017, aku tergerak hati nak buat upt (urine pregnancy test), and it wassss POSITIVE! Alhamdullilah but the line is sooo faint. So tak berapa confident plus pagi tu, I had my larian merdeka sampai UUM! gila tak gila 😂. So I bought 3 upt hahaha. Amik kau. Beli yang biasa 2, yg clear blue satu. And all the result came out POSITIVE! syukurannn. Tapi tak excited lagi nak p scan, tau dah mst tak nampak apa sebab too early kan. We waited for a couple weeks.
A couple weeks tu pon, macam2 benda aku buat, driving pergi balik Alor Setar, swimming, buat kerja rumah. Taktau la, all of sudden, aku jadi energatic. Excited nak buat all the things. And suddenly, on 1 September, i'm bleeding. Huhu. Mula-mula tak risau, sbb 1st pregnacy pun mmg bleeding. But the bleeding wont stop unti today (7 september 2017). Risau gila 😭. Pergi scan, the doctor cant see the baby 😭😭😭😭. So she suggested to scan through my vagina 😰. Bila the dr scan kot tuttt, baru la nampak kantung baby and the yolk sac, but still she cant find the embryo 😢😢😢. Dr calmed me down and said your baby still small, but the yolk sac is a good sign. she asked me to do the ultrasound again for the next 2weeks. Aku sekarang duk baring ja kat rumah, takut nak buat kerja apa pon. I want the baby so baddd. Baby please be strong ❤. I know u can 😊. Currently, im still bleeding, my back and my pelvic hurt 😣
____________
Update : 13 September 2017
Hi all! Currently I'm still bleeding. Aku pun tak tau situasi baby. Are still there little love? I hope you are there. Still tak berani nak scan, sebab takut kecewa nanti. Dr suruh tunggu 2 minggu, kita tunggu je 2 minggu which is the nest Thursday. Bleeding tu kosisten je banyaknya. Tahap kena pakai pad la senang cita. Panty liner tak jalan, kena duk tukar sokmo.
__________
Update : 14 September 2017
Assalamualaikum semua...
Tarikh 14/9/17, akan aku ingat selamanya, tarikh dimana aku kehilangan zuriat yg ditunggu selama ini. 😭😭😭😭. Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mengetahui, Allah itu mempunyai rencana yg lebih baik utk setiap hambaNya.
Allahuakhbar.
Pada hari tersebut, aku p kerja seperti biasa, masih pakai pad. Aku mengaku hari tu aku agak stress sebab aku handle camping ppki sekolah aku. On that time, aku p toilet to check out my bleeding progress. Sebab aku rasa mcm pad penuh sgt. And guess what? It was. Penuh pad, aku mula tak sedap hati, xsenang duduk. Perut start senak and rs macam sengugut. Tapi aku still boleh tahan. Habis ja waktu sekolah, aku terus p hospital mahsuri. Kebetulan ramai orang haritu, sementara tunggu turn aku doa banyak2 dlm hati 😢. When it was my turn, jantung macam nak tercabut. Huhu. I told Dr, I had a heavy bleeding. Dr scan kat perut, xnampak kantung baby 😢, aku redhaaaa sgt masa ni. Dr asked me to scan throughmy vagina and she wanted me to pee 1st. Aku pon p toilet, nak kencing and tukar pad. Bila sudah kencing, aku jengoi kot bawah, nampak satu utas darah marah, dan aku rasa something is come out. Aku tadah tangan kat bawah and 'plup', daging sebesar 1/2 tapak tangan jatuh. And aku nampak macam ada tali pusat halus. I knew that was my baby 😢😢😢😢. Aku tergamam, tangan shaking pegang that warm flesh. Bercampur baut perasaan. Huhu. Lepas keluar seketoi tu, pinggang aku x sakit, perut xsakit. That aku keluat dari toilet, I told Dr what just happened. Dr pon scan kot vagina, and she confirmed yg dh complete gugur. Aku takyah kena d&c. Hmm, awkward moment dlm bilik Dr tu, memasing tak sangka kan? Dr bg sikit motivasi and asked me to rest. Selesai amik ubat, aku drive balik sensorang, satu apa pon tak habaq kat suami, takmau dia risau. Tunggu dia balik rumah baru habaq. 😢.
Dah habaq, dia macam cool, asked me to redha and dont think too much, it just not our rezeki.
Tu ja la. Takmau pikir dah.
Hari ni masuk hari ke-10 pantang.
🍀Next entry:Pengalaman Berpantang Keguguran
Alhamdullilah syukur atas kurniaan dan nikmat yang Allah berikan selama aku hidup ni.
So anak sulungku, Habib Umar dh berusia 2 tahun lebih, which mean it is a perfect time to add a new member in our small family. We are planning for a second baby inshaAllah. So we tried for many months but the result came out negative. Sedih memang sedih. Rasa macam susah pulak nak lekat utk yang kedua ni. Tapi tu semua kerja Allah kan? Allah tahu masa mana sesuai utk 2nd baby to come. Kami tak putus asa dan terus usaha 😆😆😆😆😆.
On 23/8/2017, aku tergerak hati nak buat upt (urine pregnancy test), and it wassss POSITIVE! Alhamdullilah but the line is sooo faint. So tak berapa confident plus pagi tu, I had my larian merdeka sampai UUM! gila tak gila 😂. So I bought 3 upt hahaha. Amik kau. Beli yang biasa 2, yg clear blue satu. And all the result came out POSITIVE! syukurannn. Tapi tak excited lagi nak p scan, tau dah mst tak nampak apa sebab too early kan. We waited for a couple weeks.
A couple weeks tu pon, macam2 benda aku buat, driving pergi balik Alor Setar, swimming, buat kerja rumah. Taktau la, all of sudden, aku jadi energatic. Excited nak buat all the things. And suddenly, on 1 September, i'm bleeding. Huhu. Mula-mula tak risau, sbb 1st pregnacy pun mmg bleeding. But the bleeding wont stop unti today (7 september 2017). Risau gila 😭. Pergi scan, the doctor cant see the baby 😭😭😭😭. So she suggested to scan through my vagina 😰. Bila the dr scan kot tuttt, baru la nampak kantung baby and the yolk sac, but still she cant find the embryo 😢😢😢. Dr calmed me down and said your baby still small, but the yolk sac is a good sign. she asked me to do the ultrasound again for the next 2weeks. Aku sekarang duk baring ja kat rumah, takut nak buat kerja apa pon. I want the baby so baddd. Baby please be strong ❤. I know u can 😊. Currently, im still bleeding, my back and my pelvic hurt 😣
____________
Update : 13 September 2017
Hi all! Currently I'm still bleeding. Aku pun tak tau situasi baby. Are still there little love? I hope you are there. Still tak berani nak scan, sebab takut kecewa nanti. Dr suruh tunggu 2 minggu, kita tunggu je 2 minggu which is the nest Thursday. Bleeding tu kosisten je banyaknya. Tahap kena pakai pad la senang cita. Panty liner tak jalan, kena duk tukar sokmo.
__________
Update : 14 September 2017
Assalamualaikum semua...
Tarikh 14/9/17, akan aku ingat selamanya, tarikh dimana aku kehilangan zuriat yg ditunggu selama ini. 😭😭😭😭. Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mengetahui, Allah itu mempunyai rencana yg lebih baik utk setiap hambaNya.
Allahuakhbar.
Pada hari tersebut, aku p kerja seperti biasa, masih pakai pad. Aku mengaku hari tu aku agak stress sebab aku handle camping ppki sekolah aku. On that time, aku p toilet to check out my bleeding progress. Sebab aku rasa mcm pad penuh sgt. And guess what? It was. Penuh pad, aku mula tak sedap hati, xsenang duduk. Perut start senak and rs macam sengugut. Tapi aku still boleh tahan. Habis ja waktu sekolah, aku terus p hospital mahsuri. Kebetulan ramai orang haritu, sementara tunggu turn aku doa banyak2 dlm hati 😢. When it was my turn, jantung macam nak tercabut. Huhu. I told Dr, I had a heavy bleeding. Dr scan kat perut, xnampak kantung baby 😢, aku redhaaaa sgt masa ni. Dr asked me to scan throughmy vagina and she wanted me to pee 1st. Aku pon p toilet, nak kencing and tukar pad. Bila sudah kencing, aku jengoi kot bawah, nampak satu utas darah marah, dan aku rasa something is come out. Aku tadah tangan kat bawah and 'plup', daging sebesar 1/2 tapak tangan jatuh. And aku nampak macam ada tali pusat halus. I knew that was my baby 😢😢😢😢. Aku tergamam, tangan shaking pegang that warm flesh. Bercampur baut perasaan. Huhu. Lepas keluar seketoi tu, pinggang aku x sakit, perut xsakit. That aku keluat dari toilet, I told Dr what just happened. Dr pon scan kot vagina, and she confirmed yg dh complete gugur. Aku takyah kena d&c. Hmm, awkward moment dlm bilik Dr tu, memasing tak sangka kan? Dr bg sikit motivasi and asked me to rest. Selesai amik ubat, aku drive balik sensorang, satu apa pon tak habaq kat suami, takmau dia risau. Tunggu dia balik rumah baru habaq. 😢.
Dah habaq, dia macam cool, asked me to redha and dont think too much, it just not our rezeki.
Tu ja la. Takmau pikir dah.
Hari ni masuk hari ke-10 pantang.
🍀Next entry:Pengalaman Berpantang Keguguran
